


A personal record of the alterations of Captain James T. Kirk's emotional state for purely scientific purposes

by yel_halansu



Series: Star Trek Bingo Summer 2020 [2]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Spock (Star Trek), Past Spock/Nyota Uhura, Post-Star Trek Beyond, logs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 08:08:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25467526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yel_halansu/pseuds/yel_halansu
Summary: First Officer Spock logs his encounters with the Captain in order to analyse the changes he has perceived in his emotional state lately- and discovers the true reason behind them.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Series: Star Trek Bingo Summer 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1844740
Comments: 10
Kudos: 129
Collections: Star Trek Bingo Summer 2020





	A personal record of the alterations of Captain James T. Kirk's emotional state for purely scientific purposes

**Personal log of First Officer Spock, Stardate 226** **9.64:** after the events at Starbase Yorktown, the Captain has shown objective signs that point to a long-term shift in his emotional state. Such behavior is not unheard of in human beings, and medical attention is generally not considered necessary unless this is seriously interfering with his daily tasks, which I have no reason to believe at this stage. I must record the change is only slight, however, it is perceptible to anyone familiar with his personality. In the interest of documenting this change I shall use these logs to record any interactions of note I have with the Captain over the next few weeks and what emotional state is distinguishable from his behaviors towards myself. My current theory is that perhaps this behavior is linked to recent developments in my personal life, as Lieutenant Uhura and myself have recently decided to cease our intimate relationship. The separation was discussed rationally and we remain on friendly terms, however the Captain could be attempting to soothe a perceived emotional discomfort in us both. End of log.

**Personal log of First Officer Spock, Stardate 2272.20:** Today, the Captain sat beside me in the mess hall during breakfast. We engaged in the human custom of “small talk”, an illogical fraternizing ritual in which conversation revolves around irrelevant and general topics. The purpose is not to exchange any information of note, but to strengthen the familiarity between the individuals involved through polite interaction. After approximately 3:48 minutes, the Captain asked if I cared to join him in a game of chess, and we scheduled an appointment specifically for this purpose. It will take place tomorrow evening. Regardless of any of my concerns about the Captain's recent behavior, I do look forward to the intellectual stimulation the game will no doubt bring. End of log.

**Personal log of First Officer Spock, Stardate 2276.45:** After our chess game, I can confirm beyond doubt that the Captain has certainly been emotionally compromised. He was erratic in his strategy in a manner that surpasses his usual chaotic style in the game, and so clearly distracted that I had to remind him to take his turn in two separate occasions, as he was merely staring at me in an inattentive manner instead of planning his next move. Initially, I theorized that perhaps he was experiencing stress related to his ship duties. Emotional stress in humans often causes circulatory problems, and sometimes these manifest as skin irritation, specially in the hands and facial area. Taking advantage of our physical proximity during the game, I carefully examined the Captain's face and hands throughout our encounter. I did not wish to cause him any further alarm, and so I performed my evaluation unnoticed, utilizing the moments when his gaze was fixed on the chessboard. I can confirm he is, in fact, in excellent health. However, further analysis will be required to discover the true catalyst of this distracted emotional state. End of log.

**Personal log of First Officer Spock, Stardate 2282.38:** The Captain approached me at 15:39 ship hours to discuss my findings at the science station while we were monitoring the radiation levels of star Theta IX. As I was informing him of the readings provided by the console, he placed his hand on my shoulder. I noted that our faces were 5.93 centimeters away from each other, as opposed to the usual approximate distance of 20 centimeters present in most friendly human interactions. What prompted this most alarming change is at present unknown. End of log.

**Personal log of First Officer Spock, Stardate 2285.62:** The Captain remarked today that he felt safe during our away missions due to my company. I reminded him that such a comment was illogical, as the mission consisted of a short diplomatic visit to Tagra IV and no risk was expected. He smiled at me and insisted that he was still glad I accompanied him, and that he always feels safe beside me. Obviously the ship is full of capable officers prepared to ensure his safety. I fail to understand the reasoning behind this compliment. End of log.

**Personal log of First Officer Spock, Stardate 2291.97:** I encountered the Captain by chance in the medbay, as I had to collect test results from Nurse Chapel to log them in the main science database. He was conversing with Doctor McCoy and both stopped suddenly when I entered the room. The last sentence I heard before they ceased their conversation was that the doctor was pointing out to the captain that he should be open about his feelings. I was unaware this was an issue the Captain faces, specially given his rampantly emotional behavior as of late. My assumption is that, naturally, they felt uncomfortable discussing such topics around a Vulcan. I apologized for interrupting them and left the medbay as soon as my task had been completed. End of log.

**Personal log of First Officer Spock, Stardate 2293.42:** The captain and I engaged in another game of chess today. As per his request, this time we met in his private quarters to conduct this activity. The game unfolded without incident, and the Captain was remarkably collected on this occasion, especially when compared to his demeanor in our previous game. However, after the match was finished, the Captain held my forearm gently to prevent me from leaving the room. He seemed to be emotionally agitated. After a few moments, he complimented my logic and let go of my arm. He seemed to have the urge to say something else, but he did not verbalize his thoughts. I took the opportunity to thank him and left his quarters promptly to prevent any further discomfort, since, as stated in my previous log entry, I believe the Captain feels uncomfortable discussing emotional matters with a Vulcan such as myself. End of log.

**Personal log of First Officer Spock, Stardate 2297.27:** The captain is approaching me at the science station and standing inappropriately close to me almost every day at this point in time. I do not wish to convey any displeasure regarding this development, as I find his company agreeable, however I deem it to be worthy of note since it does appear that this behavior is motivated by his unstable emotional state which I have set to study. Today at 16:04 ship hours I encountered him on the elevator as I was retiring from my shift. We were discussing the possibility of meeting at the observation deck next week when he leaned in and held my hand. I believe the Captain to be unaware of the significance of this action in Vulcan culture, as, according to my research and personal observations, humans hold hands openly to convey friendship and camaraderie on a regular basis. I excused myself and withdrew from the situation by exiting the elevator earlier than I anticipated. In spite of appearances, my reaction was not illogical, as I used the walk down the three deck levels to reach my quarters to ponder on what had just taken place. I believe I will inform the captain of the significance of this gesture in Vulcan culture during our upcoming meeting at the observation deck. End of log.

**Personal log of First Officer Spock, Stardate 2299.62:** I encountered the Captain at the gym after our shift this evening. Once again he approached me without prompting, and today, he insisted that we eschew our usual exercise routine in favor of a friendly wrestling match instead. The Captain excels at this sport and is a worthy match for the comparatively more muscular physique of a Vulcan. I am starting to think my analysis of the Captain's actions might be leading to me becoming emotionally compromised myself, as I was unable to stop thinking about the Captain once our session was completed, and required additional time for meditation in the evening in order to regain the level of control that I am usually capable of exercising over my thoughts and logic. End of log.

**Personal log of First Officer Spock, Stardate 2301.02:** The Captain interrupted my work at the labs today at 19:08 ship hours for no discernible reason. Initially concerned that an emergency was taking place, I inquired as to the nature of his visit, and his answer was that he merely wanted to see me as his shift had just concluded. He then proceeded to ask me an array of questions about the work I was performing and its progress. I do not understand why he would inquire about such matters which not only are they not related directly to his capitainly duties, but also can also be studied in detail in the lab's records. This is, in fact, yet another example of the baffling behavior he has been displaying. I must admit that, as preoccupied as I am with studying the development of his conduct, I find the attention he has been lavishing onto me lately to be remarkably endearing. End of log.

**Personal log of First Officer Spock, Stardate 2303.97:** I believe the reason for the Captain's emotional alterations has now been confirmed, and as such, this will be the last entry in this record. I met the Captain today at our appointed rendezvous at the observation deck, as previously agreed. I had supposed we were meeting to discuss star charting for the next mission, however my assumptions were proven wrong when he requested we sat down to talk instead. We discussed his emotional state at length and he professed to feeling love for me. Of course, such an open admission is improper for a Vulcan. However, as the Captain is in fact a human, I deemed it necessary to reassure him that I cherish him immensely myself. We then mutually agreed to enter a romantic relationship, so we can observe how this situation progresses before taking the next steps in formalizing our bond. He then requested we hold hands, and reassured me that he was fully aware of the significance of this gesture in Vulcan culture. I must note he seemed reticent to initiate the gesture himself, perhaps as he was trying to avoid appearing disrespectful, and as such, I was the one to reach out for his hand to reassure him that his affection was welcome. For the sake of engaging in this particular example of interplanetary communication fairly, as it is only logical in such a situation, I initiated a human-style kiss in return. Jim seemed content regarding this development, and even though I have exercised exemplary emotional control over my reactions throughout this entire study, I must admit that I, too, find our new status as “boyfriends” to be quite agreeable. End of log.


End file.
